I believe the man that I was once so in LOVE w/ and just head over heels about,used a form of “Reverse Psychology” on me…..he is NO dummy;he obtained many degrees,studied body language,and know how to say and do what it takes to read into you,and that I am still investigating (yeah,it’s funny now,but there was days I cried) I say this in the friendliest of terms,because although he hurt me in ways I could never understand….I will never talk bad about him because I once,still,and will always have LOVE for this man.
His actions and words I will never understand,as I am sure he don’t understand most of my actions and words as well,but that don’t make him or I the “bad guy”! He loved me and I loved him at his high and lowest point in life,and it’s safe to say I do know him (at least I thought I knew him) better than most,and I KNOW this is not the person I felt so in LOVE with,and I truly believe he is going through mental,physical,and social wear and tear through his imprisonment and it has eaten away at his thoughts and his mind,and I can imagine trusting many is hard,after losing and giving up on so many that was so close to you! My LOVE was,is,and has always been genuine to and with him,but through all the pain…..I don’t think he ever felt or believed my LOVE was real!
People sometimes let circumstances such as:People,Places,and Things obstruct how one perceive a situation…..All I know is I give 110%!
He listened to the wrong “friends”,trusted the wrong “friends”,and when you are around and feed so much negativity it begins to rub off on you! He even had me thinking that I was the one to blame,nothing I did was right,WHY…..because everything was all wrong! There is no doubt in my mind that this man don’t LOVE me,but I LOVE me MORE..I finally woke up,and he taught me one of life’s valuable lessons,”If I don’t LOVE me,Who will”?
In closing I would like to say give yourself 110% and if he LOVES you as much as you LOVE yourself,he will come into your life to add & multiply,not subtract and divide! Woman sometimes look to man to fill the void in her life,but honestly if you can not be alone in the company of yourself,and enjoy every second,minute,and hour of that “Me Time”,than quite frankly my dear you are NOT ready to share your life,time,nor space with anyone else…..Work on you 1st…..Read a book,take walks in the park,or just go out and treat yourself to something special….Whatever it is just make sure you are doing it for YOU!