I know…..I know….. I wasn’t suppose to revisit this chapter of my life,but your heart have a mind of its own. 1st I’ll like to let it be known I am GOD’S property;for him I will live & for him I’ll die…not saying that I don’t want a mate or have a desire to date,but I trust and believe that he will send him my way when the time and mood is right!
Often times I look back on my past relationship and wonder why or how it all went wrong when everything was oh so right. This man really made me grow out of my element and shaped me into the strong woman I am today. When a man help you to grow spiritually,emotionally,and mentally in such a big way it’s hard to just forget about all those great memories and let him go. To this day I honestly still believe he is my soul mate looking back how he prepared me for the position I am in today. All the books,Bible teaching,and words of encouragement he installed into me…how can someone so right turn out to be so wrong? All the other females he entertained never was and still is not a threat to me,because I know what we shared with one another and the personal side of him he trusted me with. A man will be a man so if they got time to cater to him and say & do all the things he want to hear & see,of course he is all ears and have his eyes and nose wide open… I Love him and both his mother and father will tell you he is still very much in love with me,but his pride won’t allow him to speak those words out loud. His heart,actions,and words tell a different story,though only a selected few can witness to this.
It’s truly a thin line between love and hate……he hate to love me and I love to hate him,but CAN’T!!! I can honestly say I never felt this much love for a man ever before in my life,he was the one for me,but only GOD knows. Denying my feelings and love for him is a thing of the past I had to be true to myself in order to go forward in life,and confront my past like a big girl.
I guess if you have someone in your life that don’t know exactly how you feel about them….take the time to let them know;write a letter,make that phone call,or set up a date to express your feelings. Life is too short so release those thoughts….you never know what they may be feeling inside and what may become of it. Rather they accept it with open arms or let you down…..at least you were the bigger person to put it out there and you will be freed in the inside.